Midland Railway is a heavy indie punk pop campcore post-emo pre-post-nu-geekstep band formed in Manchester in 2004. it was declared legally dead in 2008, showed a few signs of rigor mortis in 2010 and became undead again in 2013. the story could read like a script from an American made-for-tv feelgood movie as seen on any afternoon on Channel 5, but with arguably even better music.

The band’s prime founding ‘member’ and self elected leader is Nick Lote, of Harborne, Birmingham. As well as singing and playing rhythm guitar, Nick writes most of the lyrics, largely based on his own life experiences, with no names changed to protect the innocent or guilty. He also is a highly skilled player of Subbuteo, Magic The Gathering, Pokemon and tennis. Hobbies include eating, sleeping, cheering on the Villa, womanising and talking to cats.

The term ‘lead guitarist’ can be considered a misnomer in a group where there are only two guitarists (or three if one counts the bass guitar as a type of guitar), but in this particular band, the job is performed with aplomb by a Robert Hayton, of Cheadle, Stockport, in the posh bit of the north of England. Our Rob also sings harmony vocals, and makes peculiar noises with his pedals. Very occasionally, his onstage outfits are determined by bets that he makes. Robert also likes computers, gas and RPGs.

Drummer of this fine combo is David Novan, of Chigwell, Essex. Despite being usually hidden at the back of the stage between a whacking great drum kit, David (over)compensates for this by wearing outfits best described as ‘silly’, alongside plentifully luxurious curls and enough make-up to sink a battleship, a tactic yet to be used in modern warfare. When not hitting stuff and shouting ‘backing’ ‘vocals’, David enjoys watching cricket, staying in bed, admiring bits of grass that grow between cracks in the pavement, and playing musical instruments.

Bassist Sarah Megarry was hampered with a severe disability, being most unfortunate in looking very similar to Hollywood stunner Sarah Michelle Gellar, of Buffy The Vampire Slayer fame. In an attempt to ward off the obsessive nerdy male fan-boys that lust over women who look like sci-fi hotties, she joined a band with three of them. Sarah plays bass guitar accompanied by a pedal called Woolly Mammoth. Due to her heavy and often incomprehensible Northern Irish accent, Sarah is not allowed a microphone onstage. She spends her spare time on the internet pretending to be her dog.

With songs on a variety of topics ranging from punk etiquette, online football management, ex girlfriends, ex fiancées, and songwriting itself, Midland Railway is a must-book for all your family functions, including weddings, bar mitzvahs, kids' birthday parties, divorces, circumcisions, funerals, séances, party political conferences and opening events for new stations on the expansion of the Metrolink.