Global Gathering's Indisensible Guide to Festival Slang

You wouldn't go to another country without learning a few basic phrases, would you? You know, important things like 'a large beer please'.  So don't go to a festival without swotting up on a bit of slang either... 

Global Gathering have canvassed hundred of festival goers to provide this indispensible guide to festival and clubbing lingo, so you won't be left in a chish n' fips when your mate's telling you about the moon-burnt monkey juggler who trespassed out in his tent after pulling a mum n' bass in the golden hour and being kicked out by the ejector sector. 

Eh? 

Exactly. 

Here's the full list of festival and clubbing slang, put together to celebrate ten years' of GlobalGathering 

• Monkey juggler The lone festival dancer, dancing wildly to a rhythm only he can hear

• Camp Tramp He hasn't washed, hasn't changed his clothes for three days and now here he is, begging for ciggies.

• The tent commandment Thou shalt not leave the putting up of thy tent until 3 in the morning

• Trespassing out Passing out in a tent that is not your own. You don't know how you got there. You don't know who these people next to you are....

• The Ejector Selector Bouncer

• Tesco disco Club where everybody’s ‘stacking the shelves’

• Doomcore Very dark techno genre – often played at clubs with names like ‘3rd World War’

• Shape Shifter Particularly bad dancer with no particular style

• Keeping it Tidy Keeping yourself nice and not ‘losing it’ in a club

• Luft-wafter A topless German techno enthusiast with body odour issues

• Mum 'n' Bass A woman of advanced years still giving it large on the dancefloor

• Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box Popular early rave dance

• Shed A new music style- somewhere between house and garage

• All gone Pete Tong Everything's gone wrong

• All tong gone Pete Wrong Everything’s gone very, very wrong indeed

• It's All Gravy Everything is cool

• Beefa Ibiza

• Neckless wonder Bouncer

• Moon-burnt Pale from too much clubbing

• A bit chish and fips A confused state

• Ounce-bounce Overweight dancer

• The Crapocalypse When you enter a festival/club toilet, desperate, only to find it unbelievably filthy and without any paper

• Rave flu Popular affliction affecting the hardcore clubber and the cause of many Mondays off work

• Giving it 'Shaggy' Adopting the expression and refrain of Jamaican popstar Shaggy when a bouncer has smelled a cigarette and is searching around you - "it wasn't me"

• Hooves Decent speakers; "they hoof it"

• Dibble Those who confiscate hooves

• Nice one Party without dibble

• Golden Hour An hour before the club closes, best chance to pull

• Dance-apella A dance performed without music. Usually absent-mindedly, or to burn off excess energy.

• Deja-moo The feeling you've seen that cow somewhere before at another rave.

• Disco nap Going to sleep one or two hours before a big night of clubbing.

• On a mission A trip to the shops to buy food at 4am – usually preceeded by an hour long debate on who will undertake the ‘mission’

James Algate, Head of GlobalGathering says “Clubbing and festival slang is constantly evolving and our list shows just how witty modern clubbers and festival goers are”.

This year’s Global Gathering is headlined by Faithless who are looking forward to the festivals – Sister Bliss explains “We have headlined GlobalGathering once before and it was just the most fun to do the show. The dance scene was written off as being a pretty spent musical force because it was just mindless hedonism and people dancing. But it is probably the most vibrant it’s ever been!”

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