Rebekah: Back From The Brink

Having only arrived in Berlin two years ago, Rebekah has cemented herself on the European techno scene, and is now an integral part of Chris Liebing's CLR family. Her no-nonsense Birmingham-tinged sound has shaken many a dance floor since, including the likes of Berghain and Tresor.

Internationally she has a busy schedule as well, including her return to Jaded at Corsica Studios on Sunday November 30th, but to talk about her DJing, production or label (Decoy Records) would be a waste of an interview - there is so much more to discuss beyond industry talk.

It is Rebekah's journey that is most compelling. Professionally it has lurched from being a model to being a highly respected DJ and producer, but it was the psychological journey that made it all possible.

She talked to us about what she did to change her mindset, how she controls her mind during the creative process, and that moment when she realised things had to change…

Firstly, explain to us how you've focused your mind during the creative process. You've used things like black and white footage of factories haven't you?

To help me create, I need a theme or concept because I'm really visual. So the idea was to come up with an umbrella concept for four EPs I was writing to bring together.

At the time I was working on colours, so what colours represent techno? For me, it's the colours in the club.

There's always a red light, blackness, white light, then there's this mix of grey which is the combination of the dark and the smoke and everything in between.

So the black and white images of factories was really a nod to the industrial revolution and industrial techno.

Industrial techno has kind of got roots in Birmingham and obviously the Black Country is the epicentre of the industrial revolution in the UK with all the canal routes and stuff.

I did a bit of research. I looked online for the images, found the biggest factory and found all these pictures of people in factories from that period… it's really insane what you can discover online.

Then I went to a local museum - The Black Country Museum - and there you get all these fake actors, pretending they're from that period, and then they start making things like metal works, and you get to hear the sounds.

Even if you walk around the area you can still hear a lot of factories anyway. So it was kind of a combination of those things.

It was really a good period to go out and do something not attached solely to the studio. You actually go out to free your mind to be creative, because you're inputting all this information, like a sensory overload.

That's a good point. It's a bit like how an actor would get into their role - that kind of research to 'get into character'. Have you done a similar thing since?

I was such a new producer whilst working on the colour theme - that project never really was completed as a whole. I separated the EPs, so the black EP went on Naked Lunch, the red EP went to Stolen Moments (hear below), and then there was a group of tracks that never really saw the light of day.

But since then I've come onto CLR. They've been on my case to do an album, but so far I've refused… I'm not really ready yet! But what I've come up with is a play on that concept, except I've used elements, so fire, water, air etc.

The first EP's about fire and all that kind of gory stuff, and then the next one, which I'm working on at the moment, is air. I've been reading up a lot on factory farms, so back to the factory concept, but more how they cause the world's largest amount of pollution.

So the next EP is based on the farming industry and factories and all of that kind of stuff. I like the theme as it brings up a lot of feelings, which can then be channelled back in to the music.

It makes it a bit more personal. In terms of the execution of the ideas, what kind of stuff do you put in place to help you create?

In terms of this EP in particular, I've decided to start with something a bit different, so a breakbeat. The first EP that's coming out now, Elements 1, was more about colour and analogue - I wanted to create using analogue equipment and let that guide me more.

This one needed to be coming from a different angle, so I stripped out the 4/4 and went on a breakbeat mission, and then once the break's there, you end up placing sounds in a different way.

You don't put the hi hat in for like ages, so you're building all these sounds to make a groove so the hi hat can come in at a later point, if at all. But then after all that, I might even bring a 4/4 kick in, but the result ultimately is very different.

So how did you become this efficient creative? Things were not always so smooth were they?!? What was the journey that got you to this point?

When I first started making music I was all over the place making different genres and seeing what worked, which was a good process to experiment but there was no real focus.

You tend to look at labels and see what they were doing and try and make music to fit a label and this is frustrating and in the end felt like I was hitting my head against a brick wall. I was totally blocked creatively.

Adding to this I was still partying most weekends and drugs can really suck the life out of you. My self belief was pretty low and constantly my thoughts were based around not being good enough.

I hit a rock bottom, things were not going so smoothly in my personal life too. So I made some changes. I always thought I could never say no, whenever I had a drink especially, I was just letting out the monster.

So I sat myself down and said 'do you love music?' 'do you love DJing? what is it about this music that really love?... you need to find that passion again without the drugs.

I did a couple of gigs straight; no alcohol and it was hard at first, because I'm not a massively confident person - I'm really introverted. It was a challenge in itself.

But after a couple of times I just sat myself down and said 'I don't ever have to take drugs again - you've got your freedom now'. It was an exhilarating moment.

The only issue is if you cut the drugs out you are still that person who wants to take drugs, so you have to change as a person, so I did a lot of work on myself, read a lot of books.

I did some written work, exercises, an inventory of everything in my personality, and I could see myself more clearly, and make peace with myself, make changes and move on.

The biggest realisation with making music once I sorted myself out was how the label is generally the last part of the process - I could finally create the music without comparing or it needing to be on a big label; music that I liked and music just for me, whatever came out of the studio.

It is a beautiful moment to set yourself free… definitely a fuck it moment. Making music for the sake of making music.

What were the most influential books?

It's going to sound really religious, but it's really more about spirituality... Conversations With God is one. There's a whole series of them. It's firstly about your relationships with yourself, then it moves on to your relationships with others, and then your relationship with the world around you.

The Road Less Travelled is a great one as well. About how people are quick to make their behaviours reward based, rather than a healthy reward system where discipline is a reward in itself.

I used to listen to a lot of audio books - a lot based around The Law of Attraction. Cheesey I know but the stuff really works in getting you in to a positive head space.

The Power Of Now as well - aiming to stay fully in the present, my mind sometimes feels likes it's moving at a million miles an hour. It's all just a quest for some peace of mind!

Yeah. It's a funny one. Human beings are often more excited by potential than what's going on now, which can get people into trouble.

But never the less, you need them both, because the 'certainty' of having a good future can make the present day more enjoyable and productive as well. Learning all this, did you ever have a moment where you thought you'd cracked it?

Not really, because life happens and you can have bad days and react emotionally and past behaviours can rear their ugly head and you realise 'ah shit, I haven't cracked it at all and more work is necessary’ or you need to be reminded of the tools you have learned. All in all it's just an ongoing sense of discovery really, or maybe Peter Pan finally grew up!

I did have many lightbulb moments though, one being my thoughts on the future, that I've just realised that I'm going to be exactly the same, just me, my feelings, but in a different period of time.

And that kind of made me realise that wishing to be 'there' - wishing to be in some kind of different environment to solve all my problems - is not going to automatically make me feel different to how I am now.

Very good point.

So that gave me some peace. And it makes you enjoy what you've got now. Every moment is a moment to sit back, and go 'shit, I'm really grateful for everything that's happening right now'.

I also get moments when I walk into Berghain. And get caught off guard. I went in there on Sunday morning, and James Ruskin was playing and he's playing a high-octane set. As soon as I'm in there, I'm like 'oh my God' goosebumps - it catches me and it hits me with this wave of emotion.

'Watch out for those moments' is something I've learned, because they're the moments that really matter… natural highs let's say! Being fully tuned in and connected to pure energy.

So you'd basically been on this journey of discovery when you were back in England, and then you get signed to CLR.

It must have been difficult to have that same control of process and routine if you were suddenly part of something big, in another country. Did it ever feel a bit like a rollercoaster that you couldn't control?

Not really. It's something I really wanted. I'd been doing the DJing thing myself for many years, so the next step up was being part of a crew and touring with other DJs.

There was no heavy plan. When they added me to their roster it was like ‘we'll put an EP out', which Chris Liebing chose, and see what happens. Their whole ethos was just 'lets see what happens', and that suits me!

It's an invitation to opportunity, the minute you try and control and force things and get your head filled with expectation is generally when things don’t go to plan, ironically.

When I met Chris, he was just so nice, so spiritual, and he doesn't have an ego. He said 'just do everything with love, find your passion, and just run with it'. That's why I like CLR, because there's a lot of freedom to be an artist and to develop.

That's good to know; that something with the gravitas of CLR has quite an easygoing attitude. Some people can end up losing it artistically when they're brought under a bigger umbrella.

Totally. I mean, I don't think the corporate label and brand structure really exists in techno though. I think it hasn't got a place. Techno's such a wide genre - there are so many strains - it just can't be so structured I think.

The people that I come across have been really creative. Obviously in Berlin there's even more freedom and emphasis of that over here.

Steve Bug was insightful when speaking to us about the Berlin factor the other day actually (see our interview with him here). So do you actually feel you're part of something over there? That been around a lot of creatives can inspire you?

In some ways yes, in some ways no. Being quite introverted, I tend not to go out much and be part of the scene a whole lot. But there seem to be fewer boundaries of genre here than say, back in England - there is more creative freedom in that sense.

And also the surroundings of Berlin has a huge impact… it's so dark and non descript, almost like a blank canvas with no huge fashion movement, again adding to this anything goes mentality. In contrast my latest visit to London was interesting - it felt like someone had switched the lights on!

The lights will very much be on when you come back to London for Jaded at the end of the month! Sunday lunch time you'll be on. But you've got a gig in Barcelona the night before, you'll be flying straight in. Drugs aren't an option, so how do you raise yourself for something like this?

I try and get as much sleep as I can in between gigs like this. But it's hard to say - I just do it! It's the music!

And a little bit of caffeine! So I guess I'm still taking drugs but in a more socially accepted way. Last time I played Jaded (hear the recording of that set below) I had some Espresso, some water and a couple of croissants on the way from the hotel!

You tend to forget the lack of sleep. The energy from the people, the music, a croissant, a little bit of caffeine… alles gut!

And no doubt it will be. To see how caffeine and croissants can rock a dancefloor, you can buy tickets to see Rebekah join in the Jaded 10th birthday celebrations on Sunday November 30th from this link.

Tickets are no longer available for this event