Riverside Caravan Park Swansea reviews by real event-goers
Reviews of Riverside Caravan Park in Swansea
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Review of LOGIC FESTIVAL 4
let's start at the beginning, and finish at the end....
I was invited on a stag party,to Benidorm, by a friend I hadn't seen for 5 years. The entire trip had been paid for in full and all I had to do was book a flight (how could I refuse?). on the day of the races I met the other members of the party at Bristol airports drop off point area and it was quite obvious that every person that got off their bus was off their nut on c**e. I was informed that one of the lads had bought half on ounce of cocaine from the dark web and had been shipped from Peru. he had planned to take some to benidorm and sell it out there. we all proceeded to the 'Aspire' lounge where, for a £40 fee you can drink yourself into a coma if you desire. following two hours of silly drinking, Mr. wannabe scarface bottles it and decides he isnt going to take his stash to benidorm so the 11 of them smash approximately half an ounce of nose candy into them. As you can imagine the flight is f**king wild because with Ryan air you cannot sit together unless you pre-pay for seats. Now if you can imagine, the stag is sat alone at the front in what I would consider the very best seat. Being alone he decides to make some new friends by buying everyone around him drinks and food (so far so good). He then shouts up to me (sat in row 7) if I would like a panini. he launches the panini up the plane and hits an old woman sat in front of me clean on the bonce. obviously she isnt happy about the situation and calls the Male air steward, who then proceedes to give the stag a bollocking and tells him to sit down and calm down.
a few moments later some young filly is waiting for the toilet and Mr. Stag decides to stick two fingers right up her a**e hole! the whole front of the plane goes berserk and all the stewards have to attend the situation and calm things down. my friend decides that this isnt mad enough and proceedes to have a fight with the tallest member of the flight crew. this continues all the way through the landing procedure until the plane comes to a stand still on the runway. needless to say the local boys in blue are waiting and hes magically whisked away to spend some time in a Spanish cell. now I had seen the itinerary and the plan was to look for a guy holding a board with the name Mr.James and he would transfer us all from the airport to the hotel. as I cleared passport control it's quite clear that El driver isnt there. I hang around in the background for sometime hoping he turns up but I have no luck. now bearing in mind I dont know any members of this stag party yet, I'm f**ked and can't contact anyone as my only friend and number I have is currently munching paella behind bars, but i do know the name of the hotel. luckily as I'm waiting for a taxi outside another member of the party recognises me and informs me that the driver is in the underground carpark waiting for us. when I get to the underground carpark it's quite obvious that this well groomed spanish driver isnt too happy as hes already been waiting for over 1 hour. More of the party are found but they have been to duty free and acquired 1 litre bottles of Johnny Walker. the diver goes mad and says hes not allowing them to take booze on the bus but will allow them to store it in the luggage compartment for later. unfortunately a mind fueled by columbias finest export cannot be reasoned with, and as a result a 4 man brawl commences. the 'green coppers' quickly come to the rescue give them all a bit of a slap and then 4 of them are escorted to see their sexual predator friend in the local nick. so we've now gone from 12 down to 7. things ain't looking too good. we think it's best to make a sharp exit and f**k off from the airport on the bus with the worlds most angry driver. as if this wasn't enough a bi-polar member of this crazy bunch starts asking 'o - drive, any chance of a smoke on here?' to which the reply is obviously 'no'. as previously mentioned the cocaine fueled mind cannot be reasoned with and so smoking commences on the bus. the driver is clearly not happy about the situation but thinks it's best to keep driving rather than take on 7 c**ed up Welsh roiders in the middle of nowhere. the driver is pushed over the edge when he refused to stop for a piss stop and someone pisses all in the aisle of the bus. eventually after 1 hour of this insanity we arrive at what we think is the correct apartment. only to find out that the prick has purposely dropped us off at a sister hotel with the same name. at this point, the best man throws a wobbler, launches his case at me (which contains his clothes, passport and Euros) claims his head has gone and disappears into the darkness. now fairplay to the guy behind reception, he can see that we're having a rough time and sorts us out with 2 taxis to take us to the correct hotel (nice one brother). once at the correct hotel, the gut that I'm staying with has already been there since 10am and has the room already sorted so I avoid the whole bollocks of the checking in procedure. one at the room I am presented with 3 ladies. one is oriental looking but is actually from London, another has one of the strange voices so i can only assume she is Russian but probably Romanian and the other is Spanish. Mr.B as I'll call him informs me that they have all been paid for and I can have which ever one I desire. being a simple man of simple pleasures I seize the opportunity to f**k the Lucy Lu look alike (even though she looks more like mr. miyagi) and give her the worst f**k of her life. after wiping my d**k in the curtains and slapping on a bit of lynx I think f**k it, lets hit the town. I return 6 hours later to find the w***es are still at my place but now whats left of the stag party have also all moved in because they are unable to check in due to none of their names being on the booking. I can't be f**ked to continue to fill you in with the details because I'm currently in work and my manager is starting to wonder why f**k all has been done since 8am this morning. so skipping quite a large portion of the insanity and after many grams of M**A, **t', c**e and some of the s**ttest w**d I've ever smoked I eventually get back home and magically my phone decides its had enough and I can't even turn it on. I have to have a phone so I reluctantly pay £630 for a samsung S10. later that night I leave it on charge by the side of the bed and I'm K.O. for the night. I wake up around 1pm the next day, proceed down stairs to have a bowl of lucky charms and my missus informs me that my phone was going off all night so she turned it off for me - not before she read all the messages and saw all the photos! my f**king ex missus from 20 years ago has only ended up in a wheelchair through I'll health and has proceeded to inform me of how awesome her life was when me and her were together. my wife goes off her rocker and threatens me with a divorce. a whole load of shouting and screaming takes place in our kitchen until we are rudely interrupted by PC pig who wants to ask me where this best man is...... so here's what I told him....."I went on holiday with 12 lads I've never met before in my life. the only one I knew was arrested on the plane for sexual assault. the best man that your looking for walked off and left me with his clothes, passport and €700 in cash. my old phone is f**ked and I cannot retrieve any numbers or messages that I have previously obtained. I dont even know these guys real names. there was jamo, bowen, Kyle, Mickey B from Manchester and the other guy was called Lewis. I was wizzed of to my local police unit for further questioning. this all took place on Saturday when I was supposed to be at the logic festival, so please forgive me for giving the worlds most angry review of what would have been an awesome afternoon. please note that I'm writing this on Friday the 13th of September and the best man still hasn't been found! wooooo. So if anyone has any information as to the whereabouts of the lost best man, please email charliecharles86@hotmail.com or message me direct on 07773773759.
one last thing - drugs are bad ok!
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Would you recommended: No |
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Review of LOGIC FESTIVAL 4
Overall location setup of festival was good. Could of added more toilets as ques we’re way too big for amount of people attending. I think you would also attract a bigger crowd if you got dj s to perform live at the festival. Overall really enjoyed myself but unless slight changes were made don’t think I would attend again
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Would you recommended: Yes |
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